Tuesday, December 29, 2009

On The Edge

Where do I stand now?
Where is my place?

Outside...shouts, stone, fire and blood.
Inside...darkness.

I look around my room...
To find a safe place,
I have your memories and tears,
So I hide among them

But what if I fall from that edge?


Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Still Water

I am back to step one...
I need to stare into deepest layers of myself
But I can't heal fast
Sometimes...you're hurt, but when you're the pain itself
Then...
I didn't even dream of a day which, I sit and feel being guilty..not like this.

Above all the pain I brought to myself...is the pain I brought to you
I will not forgive myself
I just can't...knowing you're sad
The sadness...I brought to you
I..
am
sorry.

Friday, November 27, 2009

I admit I've lost control


Artist: Anathema
Song: Lost Control
Photo: By Me

Life has betrayed me once again,
I accept some things will never change.
I've let your tiny minds magnify my agony,
and it's left me with a chem'cal dependency for sanity.

Yes, I am falling... how much longer till I hit the ground?
I can't tell you why I'm breaking down.
Do you wonder why I prefer to be alone?
Have I really lost control?

I'm coming to an end,
I've realized what I could have been.
I can't sleep so I take a breath and hide behind my bravest mask,
I admit I've lost control.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Paint me a Window


When the sun goes down,
I paint a window
  Hoping...

Maybe one morning,
You; and not the sun wake me up..

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Without a past

When the reality becomes a mirage
The green tree of life
Burns
And dies.

From its ashes
A memory shall arise

Fear no more
The Phoenix will fly



Sunday, November 15, 2009

Corruption


Doctor said: " Don't tell lies. Never!". And I've lied to myself...and to others. What a shame.
He said: " Don't be too hard on yourself". And I don't know how not to.
And...
He didn't explain the painful part.
He just looks at me...and tells me:
"Just enjoy the time you have here".
And the pain in my throat builds up...
Tears won't fall...

But something fell inside me.
Deep to the abyss.
Words dying before they're born
Sky darkens
But I won't stop fighting for you.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Vague but Simple


Living alone has made me different.
It seems I'm closer to me, without the interference of outside world.
I feel too much...

My surroundings fade away and my feelings, are born.
It seems, it's my thoughts and feelings that own me, not me.

And words are disappearing again...
Just feelings...
My words, has lost their value...

Friday, June 26, 2009

Freedom Myth

Everyday I feel the pain. Everyday I have tears in my eyes and a knife in my heart.
Everyday they try to deny and cover what they did to us.

Anger, Frustration and Fear.
Feelings that never had the power to get to me, now are overwhelming me.

They may have guns and prisons, they may keep our flesh and torture us but our hearts beat for Freedom.

Thank all American people who think, act and live free and support the freedom.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

A Stranger's Dream


A huge half destroyed building.
Long corridors with people behind their desks, doing paperwork.
I am standing in a broken doorway.


And suddenly I woke up in an empty room.
I heard whispers and opened the door...


I'm looking at a long corridor with empty chairs and desks now.
These desks are talking to each other.


I listen...I hear a name...
My name...

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Personal Horizon

And here I stand, with cold feet and empty hands.
There is a mystery in the air, a question in my heart.
My past and future, misery and hope.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

A Lake Full Of Thoughts

I cannot tell you how I'm feeling right now. Suddenly hail stones were falling from the sky and I paced under a shop's sunshade. A mixture of rain and hail covers the street. And here she is...a little girl steps out of the shop, stretches her little hands...and while looking at hails falling into her hands...turns and looks at me, and smiles. I smiled back at her...and then she is under the downpour of rain...dancing.
What happened to me, What does stop me from being happy at the moment? What happened to little me?
A lake full of thoughts, feelings, sorrows and...me.

Still, I cannot tell you how I feel...